My Weight Loss Journey … Beginning Again

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Gosh, I look great!” and then, afterward, saw a photo of yourself from that same moment or time period and gasped, “The mirror lied!” as the reality came crashing upon you?

This is the point where I am at now, and I want to make a change. I’ve made changes before – lots of times. I’ve lost 40+ pounds and gained it all back (plus some!). The yo-yo dieting has clearly not been beneficial.

I realized that my approach cannot be a temporary deal – I need to make permanent changes. In short, I don’t need a new diet, I need a new eating lifestyle. Food and I need to forge a new, healthier relationship with one another.

For decades, I’ve engaged in this dysfunctional connection wherein I’d turn to food for comfort in times of stress or when a non-so-pleasant memory would pop in to mind. I had begun to turn to it more frequently, to the point where the majority of my eating was based on ‘comfort’ rather than nourishment. I had become the plump poster child for being undernourished yet overfed!

So, here I go. I’m heading down the weight loss path again – but this time I am choosing the path that will lead me to permanent weight loss rather than the well traveled route I’ve taken in the past.

My first steps down this new route include learning more about nutritional needs, exercise, and how to cook in a manner that is much less dependent upon processed foods.  In addition, I need to learn to cope with stress and negative events without turning to food for comfort.

The cooking aspect will definitely be challenging for me. I’ve never been anywhere close to being deemed even a mediocre cook. For goodness sake, I was in my 30’s before I realized that pudding could be made without the help of the fine folks at Jell-O! I grew up on processed foods, and to me they were the norm.

I’ve contemplated subscribing to one of those home delivery services that are pre-portioned and planned out for each meal.  I had the opportunity to try one of the services with a free 1-week trial, and while it was convenient and required little effort on my part to make unique, fresh meals, the price (after the free trial) would have been more than I could justify spending.

So, I am beginning … again.  This time around, I have a good feeling that this will become a lifestyle adaption rather than a ‘diet.’

A few goals:

* Reach my target weight of 130 pounds.  This is higher than the recommended weight for someone of my height and frame, but I’m a realist.  I wasn’t even 113 pounds in high school.  Setting that drastic of a goal would be self-defeating at this point.  My current weight is 165 pounds, so 130 is not unrealistic.  If when I reach 130 I am feeling strong, healthy, and super ambitious, perhaps that 113 number won’t seem as daunting.

* Become physically fit.  I’ve never been the embodiment of physical fitness.  Even as far back as elementary school (when I was rail thin) I cringed when it was time for the annual Presidential Physical Fitness Test. I was always the last one to complete the running.  The chin up challenge was basically me dangling from the bar until my bony little fingers gave way and I fell to the ground beneath me.  Sit ups; oh my word, I flailed from side to side while a classmate kneeled down on my feet.  It was downhill from there.

On a recent weight loss attempt, I did begin jogging.  I didn’t do very well with it, though to be completely honest, my efforts were more in line with finding a cute outfit and complimentary running shoes than in the actual, you know, jogging.

My goal is to focus more on the jogging this time 🙂  I’d also like to begin a Couch25K program, or something similar.  Then, I’d like to move on to a dream scenario of entering (and successfully completing) the Disney Princess Half Marathon.

Baby steps though 🙂

* Approach the weight loss and lifestyle adaptation in a very healthful manner.  No quick fix diets or hocus pocus.  My goal is nutritionally sound meals and eating that will aid in both lowering my elevated cholesterol and giving my body the components it needs to thrive.  The added bonus of awesome skin, nails, and hair will be a nice perk 😉

* No longer see the need to hide from the camera.  I’m in very few of my family’s photos, and as I get older, I think gee, it may be nice if my sons had some photos to share with the future grand and great-grandchildren (other than, hey, that’s your grandma peeking out from behind that sandcastle at the beach!)

In all of this, I think a motivator will be the accountability that I’m ascribing to myself via this blog – if I fail, it’s here for all to see.  A friend pointed out that nothing is ever really gone once posted online – in this instance, I believe that will be a good thing: I can’t hide from it or in hindsight blur my success (or lack thereof 😉 ).

My fresh beginning … starts now.

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The Father Effect

Have you ever had an issue plague your heart and mind for a long period of time, struggling with the doubt, never being able to fully move beyond a point in healing, and feeling as this is just the way things will always be?  I’ve experienced this for nearly all of my years of life.  I reached a point where I just accepted it, and lugged it around as if it were a part of me: an unwanted part, a part that didn’t fit, didn’t belong – much like a third arm that served no purpose, wasn’t useful in any manner, and just hanging there, a lifeless impediment.

I thought this was just the norm ~ and then, in an instant that all changed with a simple stumbling across a television program (of all things).

A mindless moment quickly turned in to a deep and revolutionary experience.  It sounds so dramatic; I suppose because it truly was.  I sat hinged on each scene, relating to so much of it. The Father Effect movie addressed so many of the emotions that I had deeply felt for decades.

photo credit:

It did much more than that though.  It presented the “other side.”  I had always seen the situation through my eyes, from my perspective.  This movie presented the larger scope, and I sat genuinely in awe of the reality that there was far more to the issue than I had previously understood.

By the end of the movie, I can honestly say my perspective had changed.  It had morphed from one of resentment, loss, and mourning to one of forgiveness, acceptance, and healing.

I’d heard people mention in the past about how one day an issue melted away, freeing one after years of being weighed down by it.  I never understood (or quite honestly even truly believed) the testimonies.  That afternoon though, I did understand, and genuinely believed.  That weight, that extra lifeless impediment that was always present, was no longer there.

My feelings of utter worthlessness and not belonging anywhere were put in to perspective.  Their source wasn’t grounded in truth about my worth or ability to be loved. Rather, the source was grounded in someone else’s pain.  My father’s tossing me aside, his most recent wife’s not even giving me the courtesy of knowing he had passed away (I learned about that through Google), and the hurtful words uttered by others were not reflections of me. Rather, they were reflections of pained individuals seeking to assuage their own feelings with little to no regard for how it was impacting anyone else, including me.

The truths shared in this movie, and the way in which they were presented, are so very powerful, and healing.  I am thankful for the men and women who participated in the movie, and for the gentleman who created the project.  They, in their sharing, have aided in my healing and growth ~ for that I am sincerely grateful.

It’s with this renewed sense of self, and fresh understanding, that I can say without hesitation or lack of honesty, that regardless of what happened in the past, I love my father ~ and I choose to believe that in his own way, he loved me too.

photo credit:


   May your memory be a blessing, (A)(B). 


Fluffy Slime & Fluffy Slime with Glitter ~Super Easy DIY




Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been seeing a lot online about fluffy slime and fluffy slime with glitter, and wanted to learn more about it.  My three year old son is mesmerized by those ‘surprise egg’ and ‘mashems’ reveals on YouTube, and many have been incorporating slime in to the videos as well, so I knew this would be something he’d be interested in too.

I set out to compare recipes (both with and without borax*) and techniques, and all seemed to be pretty much the same basic recipe with other ‘add-ins’ to set theirs apart from the rest.  I am a basic kind of gal, so I opted to keep it simple, and chose to stick with the basic elements while omitting the ones I felt were not essential.

(* just a quick note on the borax: Many of the recipes I saw touted headlines of ‘borax-free’ and subbing in liquid starch or contact lens solution in place of borax.  I’m not certain as to their concerns over the use of borax, but I found it to be readily available, inexpensive (under $4 for a decent sized box at Wal-Mart) and after reading up on it, I deemed it safe for my family’s use.  If you’re not comfortable with using borax for any reason, you may want to try one of the substitutions).

The items and ingredients that you will need are quite basic and inexpensive.  They are:

* 4 ounces of white school glue (ie: one standard size bottle of Elmer’s or Rose Art)
* a teaspoon of water
* 1 cup of shaving cream (not gel)
* lotion (scented lotion will lend a pleasant fragrance to your slime)
* food coloring, if desired, to add pizazz to your slime
* glitter, if you want to add a little sparkle and crunch
* 1/4 cup of very warm water
* 1/4 teaspoon of borax

The process is equally simple:

* First, in a small cup or bowl, combine 1/4 teaspoon of borax and 1/4 cup of very warm water, mixing until the borax is fully dissolved. Set aside.

* Next, in a medium bowl, add 4 ounces (one standard size bottle) of white school glue. I add a teaspoon of water directly to the bottle and swish it around to release any stubborn glue not wanting to participate without an extra nudge 😉 and add it to the bowl as well. Mix.

* If you’re adding food coloring, I prefer to add it in now (I found it easier to incorporate before the shaving cream is added). Be sure to add a bit more than you think you need, as the color will be less concentrated when you add in the shaving cream. Mixa-mixa.

* Now, add the one cup of shaving cream. Mix.

* Add a few pumps of lotion, and mix.

* Take your borax and water solution, and add a teaspoon at a time, mixing well after each addition, until it comes together in a clump. Don’t be heavy handed with the borax solution, or you will ruin your slime. Just add enough until it comes together in to a clumpy ball-ish form. Remove from bowl, and knead it on the counter or table until it reaches the consistency you like. The slime will become less tacky the more you knead it. If it doesn’t, then you can dip your fingers in the borax as you knead, being careful to not add too much.

It does look like a sticky mess when it’s out of the bowl, and there’s the temptation to dribble on a lot more borax, but try to refrain from doing that — I learned that if you do, you will cause the slime to become too thick and ‘hard’ to where it’s more like silly putty than slime. If you do end up adding to much borax solution, you can *try* to remedy this and not waste your ingredients (and time), by adding more lotion — I needed to do this when I made my first couple of batches. Simply add a few pumps of lotion to the slime, and knead away, adding more as you deem necessary until you reach the desired consistency. If you didn’t add a crazy amount of borax, you should be able to salvage your slime if you add enough lotion, as I did.

In my first attempt, I added way too much of the borax solution, resulting in a slime that snapped rather than stretched.
After kneading about 20 pumps of lotion in to the snapped slime, I achieved a better, though not perfect, texture.

* If you’re adding glitter, now is the time to do it. Pat out your slime, and add as much or as little glitter as you’d like. Fold the slime on to itself, enclosing the glitter within slime, and knead until it’s incorporated. If you determine it’s just not enough, repeat the process until you reach the desired amount of sparkle and crunch.

Pat out your slime, add desired amount of glitter in to the center of the slime. The slime can hold a lot of glitter, so you can add a little, or a lot depending on how sparkly and crunchy you’d like the final product to be.
Fold the edges of the slime over the glitter and knead, knead, knead. If you determine you’d like more sparkle and crunch, repeat the process until you reach the effect you’re looking to create.
Ready to play!

Voila! Your diy fluffy slime or fluffy slime with glitter is ready to use.

Store in an air tight container for future play.


It was fun and inexpensive to make. Each batch of fluffy slime without glitter cost me under 50 cents, and about 75 cents with glitter.

My son has been having a lot of fun playing with the slime, and it holds up pretty well. I did notice that it loses some of its ‘oomph’ and volume over the course of a few days and a lot of play, but it’s still much more voluminous than basic slime.

Have you tried making fluffy slime?  How did it turn out?  Did you use borax or opt for a substitution?